Things are nice until the moment they are not anymore. You want things until the moment you’re done with them and you don’t want them anymore. I was in need of a self-disclosure. Every time my mind is in a rush I feel like writing. Without writing what I feel or what I think life just sucks. It makes me think how vulnerable I am.
Delightfully, I just wanted to say a great thank you to English for feeding me and making me strive for more information. I believe English is worth learning. One year ago when I started to learn German I felt depressed because I was losing my English words. I couldn’t bear losing my English words more than a couple of months. English was dearest to me. I loved it more than anything in my life.
Undoubtedly I gave up the German for it. I wanted to English be my everything. I wanted to be like a real English person. I wanted to be a writer in that language. I was done with this thought that English can not be like my mother tongue. I wanted it to be. Why it couldn’t be? Why really? So I confronted my fears and I started to read everything in English. It was difficult I know, there is no need to remind me but I was ready to sacrifice anything for it. After all, it was my dearest.
Dear reader, maybe you think I’m emphasizing but I think the ones that have been in love with someone or something they understand me. Love is unpredictable and infinite.
I think I felt close to English because we shared the same wounds—wounds that crashed our soul and blood as a result of others’ misunderstandings. Pains and wounds of not-to-be-understood.
Somehow, I can say our hearts were broken in the same places. We could understand each other because we’ve been through the same kind of experiences.
Whenever I wanted to think in English there wasn’t any pressure needed, but in Persian focusing and thinking is exhausting. It makes me want to kill myself sometimes. Weird enough I know but Why do you think that an English soul cannot be by wrong born in an Asian country? Why do you think it can’t be possible? The world keeps getting smaller, maybe there is a prospect of considering this one that maybe English one day can be the global education language besides every nation’s language. I look forward to the day that I can share my English with anyone in the world.
Plus: English comes from different languages. It has a strong Anglo-Saxon and Latin roots. I will talk about it in future posts.
